so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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