I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize