i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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