I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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