I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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