I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
