oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She bit a glass in half.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize