you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
