I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
So much rum. So many feels.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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