that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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