The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
