I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
