First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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