I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
