you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
