Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
