We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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