Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
so explain again why im purple
no
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
