I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
