so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I skipped work to stalk him.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
