she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
