She went from zero to smokin in five shots
where am i from again
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
