I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
my shit smells like andre
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
