Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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