He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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