I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
