and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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