woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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