HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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