Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
