If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
