He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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