I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Randomize
