Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
