the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Randomize
