Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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