Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize