he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
