no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
apparently the secret to your success is patron
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
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