Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
