omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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