It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Randomize
