Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
