i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
