GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize