Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
