Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
