chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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