What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
