This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
