Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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