On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize