Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
