I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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