Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize