How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
