I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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