And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
