but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
