Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
What a dumb baby whore.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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