He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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