I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
