Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
