so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
