sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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