420 ftw
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize