we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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